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Non-nude nude fashion tips:
World-renowned fashionista and International Association of Fully Clothed Naturists charter member Ms. Pamela Panera offers the following tips to our members in making the most of the IAFCN lifestyle:
-The hot color this spring is green. Or possibly orange. Who can keep track of this crap?
-To bra or not to bra? That is the question of many a female IAFCN member. Rule of thumb: If you can walk unassisted without causing individual tremors on the Richter scale, one for each mammary, you may forgo the garment.
-Many young people like to wear “shower shoes” or “flip flops” when walking about. These look stupid. Stop looking stupid, young people. If you have to wear shoes, look to your elders for proper mode of attire. Wear go-go boots.
-Purple? Is the hot color this spring purple? I’ll get back to you.
-An IAFCN bride is a natural bride! Rather than wearing a veil, ladies, consider a fashionable hat, or perhaps a potted plant. Make a splash as you trail down the aisle!
-Even babies can enjoy the life of the Fully Clothed Nude. Consider allowing your tot to go diaperless for a day or two. Please do not send the cleaning bills to us.
-Gentlemen, so as to create a “freer” feeling while in public, consider extremely short shorts. Make sure they’re neon pink. Boy, will you look grand giving a presentation to a major client! Go ahead, flash your IAFCN card! Just don’t flash anything else.
-Also, gents, remember that when wearing loose-fitting clothing while participating in a sporting event, please do not allow so much “give” that you are distracting your team mates. Nothing gets you bounced off the football team faster than bouncing those balls of your own.
-Don’t forget that your pets may also appreciate the freedom of the natural state. Consider slipping off your dog’s leash while taking a walk, for if he is truly meant to be yours, he shall return unto you should he stray. Isn’t that lovely?
-Very large bracelets can cover a multitude of sins on the wrists. However, in what can only be a reflection of IAFCN’s tireless work in the arena of nude acceptability, naked wrists are becoming more and more suitable for polite society. Go bare if you dare, ladies!
-The blatantly unattractive may wish to consider nudity for all areas except a very heavy veil over the face so as to escape the looks of horror that surely meet your every step.
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