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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and . . . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes, 50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut as soon as possible!!!
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| Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of turning 50 years old jokes and other funny jokes
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn't smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers. In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town's football team. He was bragging about his girlfriend and how she was lucky to have him for a boyfriend. The lumberjack, after drinking six bottles of beer, was heard to say, 'Buddy, if she went out with me, she'd never go out with you ever again. ' To which the local jock replied, 'Hey buddy, if she went out with you, she'd never go out with ANYONE ever again. '
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Kids Puns
A college professor had just finished explaining how important it was that a research project be turned in on time. He said there were only two acceptable excuses for late projects:1) A certified medical excuse2) A death in the student's immediate familyA smart-ass student raised his hand and asked, 'What about extreme sexual exhaustion?'As expected, this caused an explosion of laughter. After the class had settled down, the professor froze the student with a glaring look and said, 'Well, in that case, I guess you would just have to learn how to write with your other hand. '
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Religion Joke
Way down in the deep south, in an area known as the 'Bible Belt, 'there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation. Onemorning, after a particularly moving sermon, he announced, 'Friends Ihave been hearing very nasty rumors!'The crowd fell into an expectant silence. The Minister continued, 'One of you, here among us, has been reporting that I am a member ofthe dreaded 'Klu Klux Klan. ' This, of course, is not true! I amasking that the guilty party confess and apologize now - right here- before my flock of loyal followers. 'A young woman quickly stood up blushing and trembling and pled, 'Preacher, please, I don't know how this all came to be. I justmentioned to one of my close friends that you were a wizard underthe sheets. '
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Movie and TV Joke
A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. 'How'd the meeting go?' asks the first guy. 'It went great, ' says his buddy. 'Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million. ' 'Fabulous, ' says the guy by the pool. 'There's just one catch, ' his partner warns. 'What's the catch?' 'We have to put up ten thousand in cash'.
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Computer Joke
They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, 'Where is my father?' The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with 'Your father is fishing in Michigan. ' The skeptical man said triumphantly, 'You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years. ' 'No', replied the super computer immediately. 'Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout. '
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Bicycle Joke
My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do? Take his bike away.
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Bumper Stickers - 7
When life is bad. . . keep your head up, that way you don't see all the shit you've stepped in.
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Journalist Joke
What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader ? A spooksman !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let us know and they will be removed immediately.
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