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Emoticon Rhetoric
:-)--- \< I really fancy you.
:-(---/< I really fancy you but have had eight pints.
:-)=x< I donít fancy you at all Ė Iím a eunuch.
( v ) I work on a building site.
) , ( Size doesnít matter.
) ! ( Size does matter.
) v ( Iím a virgin.
) x ( Iím an ex-virgin.
69 Letís have kinky sex.
96 Letís not have kinky sex Ďcos Iím not speaking to you.
99 Letís have a cone instead of kinky sex.
696969 Letís invite some others to have kinky sex.
:-)oO< Iím pregnant
:-)o8< Itís twins!
;-#o< . - * Iíve just vomited all over the floor.
;-)-SXY< You have a very sexy body.
:+}-oí< Your flyís undone.
?;+) You are of questionable intelligence
£:-( My headís pounding.
=:-( Iím having a bad hair day.
;-£ Put you money where your mouth is!
<]:^) Stop clowning around.
<|:~, You are an evil Witch.
.-) They used to call me Lucky.
:-@ You make me want to scream.
~:o Youíre such a big baby.
:-}-8=< Iím delighted with the results of
my silicon implants.
:-{-%=< Iím very unhappy with the results of
my silicon implants.
:-{} Do you think Iím wearing too much lipstick?
(: (= Youíre looking quite ghostly today.
:-o ^^^^; Ouch - Iíve got my thingy caught in my zip.
$:-} B > Iím a female prostitute.
$:-) : 8- Iím a male prostitute.
:-) : 8-... Iím just taking a leak.
(:-) ? Iíve had a sex change.
*:-} 8 8- Iím a transvestite.
:-) :-( :-) :-( Iím a manic-depressive.
O:-) Iím a little Angel.
NO:-) Iím no Angel.
@:-} Do you like my new hairdo?
;+)-8o{==== Is my mini skirt too short?
;-(?) Do you fancy a blowjob?
; &[} Yes - I do work at a nuclear test site.
How did you know?
Extracts from UWOT!? by Stuart MacLean
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Copyright Stuart McLean. If you wish to use these quotes anywhere please request permission from
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