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Emoticon Rhetoric  

:-)--- \<         I really fancy you.

:-(---/<         I really fancy you but have had eight pints.

 :-)=x<         I donít fancy you at all Ė Iím a eunuch.

(  v  )             I work on a building site.

 ) , (             Size doesnít matter.

 ) ! (             Size does matter.

)  v  (       Iím a virgin.  

) x  (        Iím an ex-virgin.

69                        Letís have kinky sex.

96                 Letís not have kinky sex Ďcos Iím not speaking to you.  

99                  Letís have a cone instead of kinky sex.

696969          Letís invite some others to have kinky sex.

 :-)oO<           Iím pregnant

:-)o8<             Itís twins!

;-#o< . - *        Iíve just vomited all over the floor.

;-)-SXY<          You have a very sexy body.

:+}-oí<             Your flyís undone.

?;+)                You are of questionable intelligence

£:-(               My headís pounding.

=:-(              Iím having a bad hair day.

;-£                    Put you money where your mouth is!

<]:^)               Stop clowning around.

<|:~,          You are an evil Witch.

.-)               They used to call me Lucky.

:-@                  You make me want to scream.

~:o                        Youíre such a big baby.

:-}-8=<     Iím delighted with the results of

                 my silicon implants.

:-{-%=<        Iím very unhappy with the results of 

                  my silicon implants.

 :-{}       Do you think Iím wearing too much lipstick?

(:  (=       Youíre looking quite ghostly today.

  :-o ^^^^;       Ouch - Iíve got my thingy caught in my zip.

$:-} B   >                      Iím a female prostitute.

$:-) :   8-                     Iím a male prostitute.

:-) :   8-...                   Iím just taking a leak.

(:-)     ?                      Iíve had a sex change.

*:-} 8   8-                     Iím a transvestite.

:-)  :-(  :-)  :-(    Iím a manic-depressive.

O:-)                     Iím a little Angel.

NO:-)          Iím no Angel.

@:-}                     Do you like my new hairdo?

;+)-8o{====                Is my mini skirt too short?

;-(?)                   Do you fancy a blowjob?

; &[}                   Yes - I do work at a nuclear test site. 

                          How did you know?  

Extracts from UWOT!? by Stuart MacLean

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Copyright Stuart McLean. If you wish to use these quotes anywhere please request permission from

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