Death by Chocolate Jokes

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Copyright Stuart Macfarlane  


I often lie awake at night wondering if in this huge and mysterious universe there might be planets with nicer chocolate than ours.



Tea is for old maids, coffee for bores. Hot chocolate is the drink for lovers.


I never leave home without an emergency supply of chocolate you sure get some funny looks wearing a haversack to weddings and funerals!



She was a sensual lady, elegant and sophisticated. Slowly and deliberately she removed the bar of rich dark chocolate from her silk handbag. She unwrapped it seductively as if she were removing her clothes. Strange its the first time Ive ever seen a chocolate bar wearing satin lingerie.


During a hectic, stressful day steal a soothing moment, indulge yourself, eat some chocolate. For those precious moments you escape to the warm tranquillity of a tropical island. Afterwards you feel pleasantly exhilarated, revitalised, ready once more to conquer the world.






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