A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern
relationships. Approximately one of every two marriages ends in divorce and the
average length of a marriage before divorce is only five years. Many couples
today chose cohabitation over traditional marriage. What happened to the
idealized family depicted in Father Knows Best, Leave it To Beaver, The Donna
Reed Show and Ozzie and Harriet?
No simple answer exists to this question: our intimate relationships have
been affected by the industrialization of society, urbanization, continued
changes in the traditional roles of the sexes and greater economic independence
for women, a rise in the percentage of the population pursuing a college
education, a lessening of social pressure against couples who cohabit, the
recognition of legal rights for llegitimate children, a decreasing birth rate,
improved birth control methods and a longer life expectancy. All these factors
contribute to our alarming divorce rate.
Is it any wonder the state ( literally, the state you live in and as,
generically, any form of government) must pass laws that affect our personal
relationships as we struggle for answers?
You can take opposing views of the laws in our country. One argument is that
they protect society and its members, but the flip side contends they are a
means of oppression. The laws that impact our intimate relationships are not
necessarily harmful or intrusive in and of themselves. However, forming a
relationship without a working knowledge of these laws and without considering
all the ramifications can lead to situations where the end result is both.
The state's role in romantic relationships has often been justified by
“public policy” interests. The term “public policy,” though vague, is used to
justify laws or actions that would injure the public welfare or be contrary to
public decency, sound policy and good morals.
Understanding the necessity of laws that impact on our personal relationships
starts with the recognition that our society is not the first to regulate love
and the law. The efforts of governments throughout history to control the
couplings of its citizens illustrates why and how our own laws were created and
why and how, inevitably, they will adapt as society changes.
The one form of marriage permitted under our laws is the only option for
couples who want a legal relationship. Happily, the single status is only a
temporary situation for most Americans. Few will stop looking for love, trust,
companionship and sexual and emotional fulfillment with another person. However,
couples wanting to remarry, parents with ready-made families, couples over 65
looking for companionship without legal complications, all seek answers from the
same legal relationship.
Although divorce laws have undergone radical changes in our lifetimes, the
marriage laws have remained relatively static. Unfortunately, because couples
considering marriage have many different needs, it is not uncommon for the laws
that govern marriage to conflict with these needs. Too often, couples learn too
late that financial penalties come attached to the marriage license. Marriage
may be the only means of forming a legal and financial relationship under the
law but, for many, legal marriage simply implies that they must suffer penalties
to legalize their relationship.
As traditional marriage has proven less and less capable of living up to its
potential in our society, alternatives such as unmarried cohabitation have
arisen. The increase in couples who choose to cohabit can be traced to the fact
that the marriage laws are not meeting the needs of these citizens in forming
their personal relationships. Although there are a variety of reasons why
couples choose to “just live together,” financial disadvantages are a major
factor.
If you are previously married and considering a remarriage, you know that the
older bride or groom has different needs than the young couple entering a first
marriage. The responsibilities and obligations from prior marriages,
particularly when children are involved, cannot be ignored. Men and women over
fifty who have minor children fight the same uphill battle as younger couples do
in defining and fulfilling their obligations of visitation, custody, support,
and inheritance. These problems create stress for the old family, as well as the
new, upon remarriage.
Even without children, it is possible that obligations to former spouses can
impact a new marriage. Older couples must consider the potential loss of private
pensions, alimony, social security benefits or tax advantages because of a
remarriage. Also important is the issue of inheritance of assets that may have
taken a lifetime to accumulate. Older couples may want to limit their financial
obligations to each other in the areas of support, medical costs, insurance, and
pension benefits.
If you are a refugee from the marital wars, you learned the hard way about
precautions that could have been taken the first time and should be taken the
next. The happily married couple doesn't need to learn from experience; they,
too, can benefit from the information in this book. If you are one of the lucky
couples who has beat the odds and stayed married, we want to show you how to
continue to protect and preserve your relationship...and your money. Check out
loveandthelaw.com to
discover what you need to know about your relationship.
About The Author
Ms. Duff has been featured on Today, Good Morning America, in The Wall Street
Journal, Self, New Woman, Smart Money and Modern Maturity and has been a guest
on hundreds of radio talk shows.
johnetteduff@aol.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
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